by Borja Arrizabalaga.
To a large extent, we create our destinies, and most of the ills we suffer are directly due to our own attitude. Life is full of uncontrollable events; In many situations, the only thing we can control is the attitude with which we choose to respond.
When you really take the time to think about it, everything that happens around us is neutral and meaningless to the point where we make sense of it. And the questions we ask ourselves define the meaning we create and the attitude we have above all.
Regardless of what you’re going through, it’s about choosing: Am I going to let this bother me? Am I going to choose to do this wrong or good? Will I choose to stay or leave? Will I choose to scream or whisper? Will I choose to react or take the time to respond?
When our students come feeling bad about a situation they can not control, we usually start by reinforcing a harsh truth: sometimes it is not possible to change your situation; or not soon enough. You can not get a new job in an instant. You can not make someone else change against their will. And you certainly can not erase the past. But…
You can always choose an attitude that moves you forward. And doing that will help you change things from the inside out, and ultimately allow you to grow beyond the problems you can not control.
Here are four powerful questions that will help you adjust your positive attitude when you need it most:
1. Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you erase the negative thought of what worries you?
Worry is the greatest enemy of the present. It does nothing more than steal your joy and keep you busy doing nothing at all. When you spend time worrying, you are simply using your imagination to create moments you do not want.
Realize that, somewhere within all of us, there is a supreme being who is eternally at peace. Because inner peace does not depend on external conditions, it is what remains when you give up your ego and worries. You can find peace within you anywhere and at any time. It is always there, waiting patiently for you to pay attention.
You can find peace within you anywhere and at any time. It is always there, waiting patiently for you to pay attention.
Mental peace comes when you can be at peace with what is in your mind. It happens when you let go of the need to be anywhere other than where you are, physically and emotionally. This acceptance of how things are creates the basis of inner harmony. The need for something to be different from what it is now is nothing more than a concern, and worries do not get you anywhere.
It is always the right time to embrace the present – only the knowledge and acceptance of the here and now. Only then will you have the power to focus on your challenges and opportunities more closely – and that changes everything.
2. On what could it contribute value and be positive?
Your best weapon against stress and negativity is your ability to choose one thought over another. Happiness escapes those who refuse to see the good in what they have. When life gives you every reason to be negative, think positive.
Your thoughts do not end when you stop thinking. They continue to resonate throughout your life. Choose carefully and intentionally. It is exaggeratedly and unjustifiably positive. Be creative, funny, ridiculous and cheerful, all at the same time. Smile as often as you can. A smile really changes the environment of your body. Alterates, physiologically, the chemistry of your being. It will make you feel better and make it better.
Our minds are, literally, prepared to work better not when we are negative, but when we are positive.
3. How can you respond from a place of clarity and strength, instead of reacting without thinking about this experience?
Every time you are tempted to react in the same (and ancient) way; stop, and consciously decide if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the present.
To gain conscious control of what goes on in your mind, you need to develop a clear awareness for this process. To do so, remain motionless for a moment, breathe deeply and free your mind of all the voices within and around you. That will leave room to change status, and something new may enter.
From knowing what is happening in your thoughts and emotions, your ability to consciously redirect your focus grows. It’s time to voluntarily let go of the things that throw you down, and put something that inspires you first. Focus on the obvious and significant next step. There are no situations without hope; only people who lost hope in them.
It’s time to voluntarily let go of the things that you pull down, and put something that inspires you first. In almost all cases, nothing stops you … nothing is holding you back more than your own thoughts about yourself and about “what life is like.” Your perceptions create your beliefs, your beliefs create your behaviors and your behaviors produce your experiences. That is why you must navigate through your thoughts with care, and choose to respond only to those that will help you build the life you want and the image you want to keep as you live.4. What can you “let go” at this moment without losing anything? Honestly, there are so many things that you can put aside in life without losing anything.
It’s called growth. Letting go of the old ideals leaves room for new opportunities. Let go of what does not work, leave room for what will. When the pain of clinging to something is worse than the pain of letting it go, it’s time to let it go and grow. In other words, begin to subtract … the habits, routines and thoughts that are holding you back. You can not discover new oceans unless you have enough courage to lose sight of the coast. Forgiveness is a vital part of this process. Forgiving can not always heal relationships and situations. Some relationships and situations are not meant to be. Forgive any way, and let whatever is meant to be, be it. Do it and free yourself. When you hold resentment against another person, you tie yourself with that person with an emotional bond that is stronger than steel. Personar is the only way to dissolve that link and free yourself.
It’s time to stop waiting for everything outside to change and focus on changing inside; Do it and you will quickly discover the tranquility that has always eluded you.